My first thought when thinking about writing this post was: “Jemeela, who is going to care about the fact you are turning 30 in 6 months? Everyone turns 30 at one point. It’s not like you are a celebrity that everyone cares about. You are no different than the next person.” As I began to contemplate this question, I came to the conclusion that I care, and maybe this is a self-reflection post that I can look back on one day and just laugh about. Plus this is the “My World” section of MY website, so if you are reading it, I appreciate that, and if you just started to read it and stopped, then thank you for contributing to my view percentage (lol). Okay so here it is:
In 6 months I will be turning 30 years old! Like seriously, I never thought I would actually see this number and I never thought I would be at this stage in my life at this point. What do I mean by that? Well here is my fairytale story (sprinkles magic dust)…when I turned 18, I thought at the age of 29 and half I would be married, two kids, home owner, business woman, living in Atlanta, a big time film director and just doing the damn thing! Well, I guess that dream got deferred (lol). Instead, I am college graduate, trying to pay off her student loans, still living with my parents (yes I said it, I still live with my parents, for valid reasons so don’t judge me lol), I have zero kids and I am not married (at least not yet). I do, however, have a great career. That is one thing I made sure came true. No, I don’t live in Atlanta as big time film director, but I do run a video department and I do know a lot of important people in my city, and had multiple opportunities to interview influential people such as En Vogue, LA Clippers’ Coach Doc Rivers, Celtics’ Coach Brad Stevens, and ABC News anchor Byron Pitts. So, I think I’m doing pretty okay for someone that had A LOT of obstacles thrown her way.
Now I’m at a crossroad of crossing that line from leaving my 20s and stepping into my 30s. At this crossroad, I am able to stop, look back and reflect on everything that I have done in my 20s – everything that has set me up for this moment. I can honestly say I never been so excited to actually leave my 20s. Not saying my 20s was bad. My 20s were exciting (or I think they were). I lived in 3 different states, went to three different colleges, I was in two committed relationships, I did a little traveling, I tried new foods, I partied hard, I got two tattoos, I decided to go natural and loc my hair, I voted for the first time (and for the first black president!), I met new people, created new friendships, and I even randomly planned a trip to Vegas for my 29th birthday – though it was fun, I also thought “man I’m not in my early 20s anymore” lol! Everything I planned to do in my 20s was altered based of life changes, BUT! I made sure to be consistent with my one true goal – my career and never giving up on it no matter how hard it got. And now, on the cusp of 30, I have to keep pushing. And I will keep pushing till I get there.
As I approach 30, I keep thinking about that saying “30 is the new 20”. Now who the hell came up with that and why in the world would you want to be 30 acting as if you’re in your 20s? Like seriously who came up with that? I’m thinking the person was referring to looking “youthful” and if they are I will take that, but I won’t take acting like I’m 20!
In six months I know things will change for me, and like many other women who reach this age, important life decisions will be made, but, I think, only for the better. I’m a highly conscious person, so I plan everything at least six months in advance, HINT! this post, I’m not a last minute person. I’m not a risk-taker. However, the closer and closer I come to this crossroad, the more I reflect and the more I feel like I am becoming one!
For instance, me doing this post is a RISK for me, but so was my “30 Day Challenge to Get Rid of My Acid Reflux” post. When I did that, I did not know what to expect, but I will say I felt relieved because it served as a permanent reminder of the journey I’m on. So, saying YES to taking risks is must for me at this point. I’m saying YES to blogging more in the “My World” section.
When creating this website, it was for portfolio/professional purposes and nothing more, but I decided to add this section because if I’m going to express myself, I would rather do it here instead of on social media. Who knows, maybe this post can spark someone else’s thoughts about their life and where they stand. Are you happy? Are you living or just surviving? Are the people in your life helping you grow? These are some of the questions I ask myself regularly. I don’t wait until my birthday to ask these questions or for the New Year to start setting goals, I prefer to do it randomly and almost every week (lol).
Okay so I’m going to stop boring you and just say my final words:
In six months, I will be a different person than I am today. Once I cross that line and enter into my 30s, I will no longer stress about my life’s possible outcomes, because it will be time for me to stop trying to control what God has already set out for me. I will take it in stride, stick to my plans, expand my mind, take risks, live in the moment more, and let God do what He has been doing – which is navigating this life of mine because his plans are always greater then the one I set out for myself.